Knowing when to stop

by Ai Wang Tue 05 Jan 2010, 1:14 am

If you wake up, what do you do in morning? Do you look around as you’re in bed? Do you think about what you dream? Do you wish it was just yesterday? Or you might even just wish to this day over?

Days go on forever, as I just sit on the bed in the hospital. I wanted this day to be over. It’s been a year since I past out on the street. The best part about that is I don’t even remember what has happen that day. The only thing I can remember is me fainting in front of a boy who’s walking away from me. When he looks back he had sad eyes, a face of regretting. He never came back to save me as the rain drop drips down on my face.

“Emma, hey girl it’s been awhile….Do you remember me?” a girl ask me. I do remember her, its just I forgot her name. It’s been a year since her last visits. I got up sitting on my butt.

I lie to her shaking my head “No”.

I look down at my hands, with a blur in my eyes.

I couldn’t do anything, there isn’t anything left of me.

The girl came around me; she took out her hands, putting them on my head. She rubs them gently.

I looked up at her, closing my eyes, trying to remember who she is. But nothing is coming in. I remember the park where we both always walk to. Holding her hands, talking, laughing, and dancing around the warm shining sun.

My heart beats fast and warm. The warm water falls down on my cheeks.

I lay down, closing my eyes.

I open my eyes, I saw that the girl was smiling and laughs.

"Its okay Emma, I'm here don't worry about it okay?" the said

It feels like as if this was dream, but then at the same time, i knew it was real and i'm living it.I thought

"Ok, i understand. But if i may ask...what is your name i forgot." I asked

"my name is maddie Sheaty."

"Well nice to meet you Maddie" I said.

"hey, i have something for you. I want you to keep it. I want you to treasure this. okay?"

"Yes" is all i can say. My mind was racing with myself find out what she only meant. but at the same time, my heart was pounding harder.

I watched her moved as she took out a red hearts box with blue ribbon.

"You might not remember this but i promise a friend to give this to you. Please wear this..Hes risking his life just to give this to you." She said

I took the box. I was holding the box, just looking at it, wondering it what could be in there.

"thank you maddie" I said with a fake smile on my face

"Yeah sure no problem, I'll be back later okay..I have to go somewhere..I'll be back..but don't wait for me..because im not sure if i will be able to see you again." She said as he hugs me.

All i could think of is what she meant when she said i'm not sure if i am able to see you again." I thought

By the time my eyes finally got off the box, maddie left the room.

I looked at the box again and took off the ribbon.When the lid was off the box. Pain came right in my heart and even my head. It felt like someone stab me right though my heart. but i didn't understand why it was hurting..My eyes became a blurr with tears falling down.

My heart was cold, my body shake in fear.

The only movement i did was closing my eyes...It was hurting...and i didn't understand.. the only thing that was in the box was......

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I close the box. I didn't want to do anything with it, but at the same time i love it.

I could feel my heart pumping slower and slower, the next thing i realize i passed out. I heard a long buzzing sound, i could hear the nurses calling for doctors over my empty body.

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The Next time i woke it i saw a boy sitting next to me holding my hands.

He looked nice, he has Dirty blonde hair with blue/green eyes. He was wearing a tight shirt that i could see his abs. He looked at me with scared eyes, eyes of wanting to go back to things were it was suppose to be.

"Welcome back," The boy said in a werid silent. I looked at him. His face looked like a baby face. A face to i couldn't forget but i did anyway.

" Hello, sir." I reply. My hands started to shake. I told myself" Why....Why...Why couldn't i remember anything."

The boy looked at me and touches my cheeks.

"Hey its okay, don't worry about. Maddie called me and told me you forgot about everything. Its okay, instead of making yourself to be in pain. You can start over, with the new you.", he said with a sad eyes.

I looked around the room. "Why does it sound like a bad idea. Why does it sound like the past wanted me to remember my past." i thought.

I looked at him and nodded my head with a yes. He smiled with happy in his eyes and i smiled back.

" My..name is Emma...Emma Honda" I said worring what would he do.

"Why hi, my name is Luke Himer," he said and took out his hand" I do like to have an hand shake with you, if that is okay?"

I looked at him and shake with his hand.

The door open a guy with a white coat came in with a clipboard. He looked at me then at Luke. His smile has turned upside down.

"Why , Hello Luke. Its nice to see you here." his voice was sweet. He looked in his around 20's. He has black hair with green eyes. His hair is short.

Luke's sad eyes turned into the mad eyes. " Hey, Jake. I didn't know you work here. Thought you work in the other Hospital"

" Sorry, but you got your infomation wrong like always. But do you mind i needto talked to MISS.Honda alone." The Doc said. When his voice reached to Miss he said it loud.

Luke looked at me then backed at the Doctor. He got up and left without any words. As they pass each other they never kept thier eyes off of each other, someone whipser something so i couldn't hear it.

The Doc. walked over to me and sat down on the bed. He looked at the clipboard then at my body.

He broke our silent as well.

" Well Honda, looks like your doing fine. Your body has turned to its normal self. Do you remember anything?" He asked

" Thanks you. No" I feel stupid" No, i don't."

" Its okay.. Don't sweat yourself." he said.

" Okay thank you..." I looked down i didn't wanted to see his face. Even though my body doesn't hurt anymore it was my mind.

"Emily White moved away. When you heard the news. Your body just couldn't take it. Its the reason why you end up here." he said looking up the ceiling.

He was right...I just remember...

~Flash back~

I woke up with the sun shining on my skin, when I turned to my side I was to find a letter beside me. The letter was all nice and folded. I picked up the letter with one hand and rubbing my eyes with the other.

“Man, I don’t feel like reading right now.” I said with the echo in my room to the hallways.

I open the letter carefully with the heart that didn’t want to know what it’s going to say.

Letter says:

Dear Emma,

I know you hate to read in the morning but this is really important for you to know. I have moved. It means that I’m not going to have any contact with you. I delete my number on your phone change my number in case. I have deleted my email. S o I have delete everything that I have contact with you. It’s for you safety and mine. I want you to know please forget about me. Even we have good memory together; I want it to be like we never met like we never had contact with each other. I can’t be your sister. I just can’t be, it’s not the same

I’m sorry

Emily White

~Flash back end~

It still hurts, just by remembering it.

Why?.....Why must she leave me? What did I ever did to her to make her hate me that much? I…I can’t forget her not even for a second. She wasn’t just my best friend she was my sister.

The doctor broke my thoughts away.

“Heyy, don’t worry about it, okay? I want you to be happy okay?” He smiled.

“Okay I understand.” Is all I can say to him?

He sat down with me on the bed. He put his left hand on my cheeks rubbing it with his thumb. His other hand he had it on my back. My face feels like as if it was on fire, I had to be blushing.

“This couldn’t be true I had to say.”I yell in my thought.

The Doctor closes his eyes, he moving closer and closer to me, he did it in a slow motion. My heart was melting.

He was so close to my lips until someone has knock on the door.

The guy looks around 20 years old. He had a 4 pack stomach. He was wearing a tight blue shirt with skinny black jeans. His arm muscle was showing up. He has a light straight brown hair, it was almost touching his eye but he has it shift to his right side his face.

The Doc. Drop his hands down and kept on staring at me, I could tell that I was blushing.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop bothering me when I am working?” he said

“How many times do I have to tell you not to rape girls as you are working?” He replies.

I stared at him. I was scared when he has said that. I shove the doctor off the bed and hide in the covers.

I was shaking really hard. He could feel he got up. I heard some whispering and a smack then a door was shut. I pop my head out to see that I was alone in the room.

“Was he really going to rape me?” I talked to myself in the dark room. I lay down on the bed and went to sleep.