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A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

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A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

Post by Phatboyjj on Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:30 am

Its 6:43 am and the phone is ringing.
"who the hell is calling me this early in the morning" says Patric
he answers the phone "hello". "28,000 U.S. Dollars is the minimum amount", then the phone hangs up.

"...What the hell was that" Patric thinks to himself. "I cant believe I was just woken up by a wrong number and i got work in 3 hours. " Puzzled Patric lays back down to rest after such a confusing phone call. (not knowing the hell to follow that day).

8:09 am the alarm goes off, Patric wakes up to start his day. Staring into the ceiling and deep in thought. "what the hell was that call about, Damn im so tired". He gets up and goes to the radio and presses the switch for the radio. The song Rooster by Alice in chains is playing. "Something feels off" he thinks to himself, but he puts it out of mind and carries on with his day. Walking into the kitchen he begins to smell a strong gas smell. When he reaches the end of the kitchen he sees the gas line leaking and a note on top of the stove. With a look of confusion and fear he picks up the note and reads it. "You have until 1030 pm to bring the money to 6548 Bargin Ave. Your cooperation is vital. If you refuse to cooperate it will lead to your death and the death of 7 other individuals"

Underneath the note was a Cell phone. The phone then rings. "There is no way in hell im answering that". Becoming over whelmed by everything at once he tosses the piece of paper and the phone in the trash. "screw this stuff, there is no way this is real". once again putting it to the back of his mind, he starts to walk out of the kitchen. Then the phone makes a buzzing noise. Looking at the trash can Patric walks back to the phone due to curiosity. "1 text message" the phone reads. He opens the text message and it reads "you have Exactly 154 seconds to exit the house, Im sitting in the car directly in front of the house. Hurry the house will blow at the end of the count down." " This cannot be real" he thinks to him self. "What do i..." the cell phone rings."Who the hell is this" Patric answers the phone. A soft Feminine voice answerers "you only have 100 more seconds to exit the house. So unless you want to die i expect you to follow my orders swiftly and efficiently. Get out of the damn house now!!", Then the phone hangs up the phone.
for
In a frantic panic Patric runs outside to find a navy blue Ford Mustang. The window slides down and a 26yr old Blond with a Cigarette signals him over to get in the car. Patric slowly approaches and gets in the car. "What the hell is going on" he says "who is trying to kill me". The blond then pulls out a gun and puts its in Patric face and says "listen here you bastard, I been paid good money to keep you alive and get you through this. How ever if you do anything to interfere with the mission, I have been ordered to shoot you with intentions to kill". She exhales smoke then says "understand, Patric!" She then speeds off from the house heading west towards the highway. "whats going on? Why is this happening? Who are you?" Patric Franticly asked. "And whats happening to my hous......". Patric is stunned with fear on his face to see his house burned in flames. "My name is Jessica, And i am a Assassin." The blond says. "What do you want with me then?" ask Patric. "My Superiors would like a word with you. You have been called into duty." Jessica says. "what do you mean" Patric asked

You may not be aware of it, But you are and Assassin!

(End of part 1)
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Re: A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

Post by Phatboyjj on Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:35 am

That was hella long. Looking for Feedback. Honest feedback. Depending on the Feed back, i may or may not make a part 2 and so on

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Re: A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

Post by Blaze on Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:50 pm

it reminds me of Eagle Eye with Shia LeBeuof...... and Wanted with Angelina Jolie.............. but i DO want to read more
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Re: A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

Post by Fate_Xcepted on Fri 15 Jan 2010, 5:49 pm

I thought it was good and i'd love to read more of it. I didn't even know you were writing a story about this. I like reading stories that i can mentally picture as i read it, and i was able to do that with your story. Keep up the good work baby! I love you Kakashi Thumbs Up
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Re: A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

Post by BANKAIX on Sat 16 Jan 2010, 5:10 am

wow dude impressive,have you everthought of writeing movies?
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Re: A Really Bad Day (part one) (Still editing)

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